Here’s a simple process to get clear on what you want to create next. What do you want to do? It is the opposite of all the hyper planning stuff that starts to bite and snarl at you this time of year.
Like my Power & Love pack, there’s a gentler and more humane way to get your life flowing.
Ask yourself the question:
What do I want to create?
Feel
into what has the most glow and resonance.
What do you want to do?
Judge nothing.
Tell the voice that says, “No way could you do that!” that you will need it later, but that right now you are desire spelunking.
Make a list of everything.
If this list freaks you out because it is so big, then give yourself a…
Time frame
One week, one month, three months or…
At the Oasis we dream and plan a week at a time with the occasional quarterly “visioning.”
Maybe that will work for you?
Take anything that doesn’t fit into your time frame and write in another notebook. Put a date on your calendar (in a week, a month, next year) to read this list. Until then, it’s tucked away with no need for you to attend to it.
Next,
Read over your list.
As you do, ask yourself,
What am I actually willing to do?
and
What do I actually have the time and energy to do?
Do not ask,
What am I not afraid to do?
Because you will be afraid of the things on your list that you really want to do. So, what do you want to do?
Desire does not negate fear.
Devotion and action do, or at least they teach you, that fear doesn’t have to mean anything.
Sometimes you have to trick yourself at this juncture, and ask,
If _____ could just magically happen, would I still want it?
Here is where I must say that imagining big amazing stuff is NOT the point of this exercise.
The point is to name what you really want. To tap into desire. This is much harder than it sounds.
(That’s why I wrote my upcoming book and am offering two Desire retreats next year.)
We live in a world where big goals get so much attention. This is silly because who decided that big, public, or financially successful was better?
What comes next is NOT sexy, but it works.
Take the thing on your list that you want the most, that you need to do first, or that feels doable given what’s going on in your life. Then…
Break it down into simple steps.
Yawn.
Power comes from choice + action.
You want more power in your life? More confidence?
You want to create more of what you want?
What do you want to do?
Take simple steps and then…
CELEBRATE!
Another way to say this is to make promises to yourself that you can truly keep.
To do that, you must make clear promises.
You must notice that you did what you said you dwould do. A.k.a celebrate.
(Want help with small steps and clear promises? Get the Power & Love pack. It’s all about that!)
Another reason small steps and clear promises matter is they take the sting out of
Procrastination
And
Perfectionism.
By breaking your desires down and committing to what you are sure you can do (stop being aspirational!), you lower the threat threshold in your nervous system. Your brain is less likely to think playing Candy Crush or binge-watching The Kaminsky Method is great self-care.
When
you celebrate doing what you said you would do, you gain experience regularly
declaring what is good enough. This makes it easier to question the voice that
says,
“Not good enough.”
Check in
What do you want to do?
Ask yourself every few weeks or months,
Do I still want this?
If the answer is no, dig deeper.
Is it because you are afraid of succeeding, enjoying, and flourishing?
If so join the Oasis and we will help!
Is it because you’ve gotten hooked by the story that you must achieve a particular outcome or else you’re a failure?
Remind yourself outcomes are lovely, but they are always out of your control. If you don’t enjoy most of the process of getting there, the outcome won’t make up for that.
Is it because the project became bigger, more complex, or about impressing others, rather than getting what you really want?
Go back to the original spark of your idea; spend time feeling it and imagining it. Take a simple step from there.
What do you want to do?
To be human is to accept that you are a finite creature who is filled with infinite ideas and desires.
To be human is to bow before that truth and choose imperfectly. It’s focusing on staying more interested in learning, growing, and serving than it is on bright shining, impressive outcomes,
Or
hiding your light and life under a rock.
Shine on.
