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If there is one single idea that I believe we need to reject as humans, it is the idea of being done.

The promise that someday, somehow, somewhere, we will arrive where we will finally be… finished. Gleaming with, if not perfection, then with enoughness.

Existing in some kind of steady-state of peace, success, creative output, or whatever it is you seek.

Are you feeling beaten down? Worn out? Stretched tight and ready to snap?

I’m right there with you. I go for a run, and am thankful for my mask and sunglasses so I can weep and nobody sees my tears.

It’s so hard these days to do what usually I’d have no trouble doing: skip the news and meditate instead, exercise first thing and then actually shower, take hourly breaks from work, skip the 5 o’clock cocktail, keep the phone out of my bedroom: the simple stuff that makes it easier to do the hard stuff.

Did I just put your teeth on edge already by calling you wonderful?

So saccharine and self-help author of me.

Please, allow me to explain.

I invited my friend Rick Hanson to a Facebook Live last week, and he shared a fascinating piece of research from his newest book, Neurodhrama; namely that anger is the only negative emotion that feels good. Anger releases dopamine and norepinephrine which feels good in the moment.

But as Rick said, “anger has a honeyed barb followed by a poisoned barb. Feels goods at the moment and poisons us over time.”

Lately I’ve been hearing from students and friends two themes:

“Why bother to create when the world is in such crisis?”

and

“I’m beyond exhausted. As a person of color, I don’t have it in me to create right now yet I’m hurting without it.”

And for my readers of color, if there is anything I can do to support you, hit reply and tell me. I cannot presume to know what you’re experiencing so take what serves and chuck the rest–or chuck it all.

You have been working on your internalized racism -- reading and taking classes and uncovering your biases -- for months or years or decades. Working to become anti-racist. You’ve made calls, signed petitions, you’ve called out your racist aunt at Thanksgiving and...

I’m so grateful that you opened this email because that means you want to read my ideas and my stories.

I want to read your story too. Like the rest of the world, I’m craving the connection and intimacy that stories create more than ever. Stories are keeping me sane and helping me hope.

A reader asked me how to be consistent and why it is so hard. Consistent in our creative work, our writing practice, in building our businesses, taking care of our health, staying in relationship with friends and family, or in our spiritual practice.

She asked me BEFORE the pandemic which at first made me think answering her would be pointless but as this madness drags on, I find many of us, myself included, are wanting consistency of some kind.

Friend, we must flip the question. We need to ask:

When isn’t it hard to be consistent?