Want to get your bother on starting now?
Read the first chapter from my new book for a jolt of fresh perspective and possibility, and a radical reframe on what to do when you are feeling lost, blah, unmotivated, or burned out, in any area of your life or for any reason — even success!
Procrastination is self-care turned self-harm.
It’s a way of coping with difficult emotions and moods.
For example, while writing this, I procrastinated by watching a short video on YouTube about a Chinese couple dancing together to help the husband recover from depression.
I was feeling insecure writing this newsletter, as I sometimes do. Will it be useful? Will you like it? Will you even read it? (Thanks for reading this far!)
You may procrastinate to avoid self-doubt and performance anxiety (like me), or boredom, general anxiety, frustration (another huge one for me), resentment (“Why am I the one doing this??”), or just about every negative emotion or mood you can name.
You do NOT procrastinate because you are lazy, unorganized, or need a new planner with gold stickers.
Since this is a common thread in my community, I’m going to offer a free training later this month on how to make procrastination work for you rather than against you, and I invite you to get started today.
I’d like you to study how you procrastinate.
Shame, guilt, stories from your childhood, and the masculine-hustle culture can make you hide from this very natural and universal human behavior; this pathologizes our attempts at mood management.
Instead, you want to become a student of exactly HOW you turn away, put off, and otherwise, postpone.
- What do you say to yourself when you start, or find yourself, procrastinating?
- What do you do instead? Less scary work? Call a friend? Get absorbed in taking care of others? Social media? Online shopping?
DO NOT change anything about what you do!
Instead, make notes. Jot down your thoughts, jot down whose voices you hear, jot down exactly what you do instead of doing the thing you want, or need, to do.
Notice, too, if your procrastination style has changed during the pandemic. This is valuable information.
Proceed with curiosity and love.
Next week we will talk about what to do with these notes.