I’ve been bubbling lately with an intensity unusual even for me. I’ve had a hard time sleeping. I often feel uneasy, like I’ve forgotten something important, but I have no idea what.
I’ve journaled about this twitchy feeling and meditated with it; greeting my thoughts and feelings as we do at the Oasis.
Yet why I was feeling this way eluded me until one of my wonderful writers, Amy, gave me a Tarot reading at my recent women’s writing retreat. Thank you, Amy.
At first, I didn’t understand the reading. Death was the first card drawn. I inwardly scoffed, I’ve gone through the death and come out the other side. I know how to bother! When I told Amy I was confused, she had me draw another card that immediately clarified everything.
(I should mention Amy reads the cards as a way to illuminate your thoughts and thought patterns, not tell the future.)
The new card told me that, yes, I was in a wonderful new phase of my life and I must keep an eye on my old threadbare story that I don’t know anything, that I’m a “page” in Tarot terms, that I need to learn more and more and more to prove myself.
The reading was telling me I know enough. And I needed to remember I am.
I am sovereign in my knowing, in my experience, and in writing my new book.
As I stared at the beautiful cards splayed out on the table, I realized the uneasiness I’ve been fizzing with was the energy of mastery.
It’s time to allow mastery to happen through me.
To stop trying to get to mastery and to start, instead, being in mastery.
My uneasiness is me getting comfy with this new energy and learning to relax into trusting it rather than working way harder than I need to or doubting myself.
Life calls each of us to grow, to leave the old shape and the familiar thoughts. We must say yes, even if it makes us twitchy (because it will!) or we risk getting stuck, becoming stale, and being bent over with sameness.
What and how is life asking you to assume a new shape? And what might claiming your mastery have to do with it?