A member of the Writer’s Oasis, my support community for creatives who use writing to think or share their voices, asked me recently how I learned to trust myself.
I was delighted I could quickly make a list of all the ways I practice self-trust. Not that I don’t struggle sometimes, but I know how to start practicing again! That makes me so proud.
This is what I want for all women: to unpack the internal oppression of not being enough and instead, trust in our experiences and knowing we can handle what life brings. To trust in how we learn. To listen to ourselves first and others second.
Ah… yes, please.
Here are my Practices of Self-Trust – see what you already do and what you might want to try.
It’s safe to desire.
Repeat after me: “It’s safe to want. It’s safe to take action on what I want. It doesn’t matter if I get it, although that would be nice. What matters is the inspired action I take.” It’s safe to want.
You are always doing the best you know how in any moment.
Take action and then ask, “What do I know now?” Second guessing yourself sounds like looking back and saying, “You should have known better!” But you couldn’t. Let’s stop rewriting history and use what we know now.
Self-trust is not an arrogant “I’m always right” stance. Rather, it’s an open-hearted embrace of being human. Make a mistake? Forgive yourself, make amends if needed, and move on.
Self-trust withers when we think we should know how to do something before we even try. Self-trust flourishes when you remember: you have no idea what you are capable of learning and creating. What would you like to learn today?
Make commitments you can actually keep.
I spend quite a bit of time each week thinking about what I can actually do in a day and breaking my projects down into doable tasks so when I look at my to-do list, I know where to start. This minimizes procrastination!
And it means I know what finished looks like so I can rest and celebrate. Do what you say you will + declare what’s enough + celebrate you did it = self-trust to infinity and beyond!
Untangle self-trust from getting things right.
Self-trust isn’t about intuiting the future correctly – if only! Rather it’s about declaring, “I listen to myself. I stay on my own side. I treat myself and what I want with respect.” It’s the act of being with yourself that matters, not predicting the future correctly.
What increases self-trust in you? What diminishes it? What’s one small deliberate practice could you put into place this week to trust yourself a little bit more?