It’s not dramatic.
It never looks like a montage in a Hollywood movie where the house gets remodeled, the book written, the life regained after the unwanted divorce, so quickly, so easily, all set to a tune of heart-stirring music.
It rarely feels glamorous or polished.
It’s not something you do in isolation; it’s not all up to you.
Choosing your truer life is intimate. Gritty. Day to day brave. And supported by your essential goodness and all your allies.
It’s me this week, unshowered and hungry, with my mom in the emergency room, performing a song and dance with a (clean) bedpan on my head instead of being resentful and snappish when she asked me for the 137th time where her purse was. Later, when she got belligerent and mean, living truer for me meant going into the hall to feel angry and trapped without being swamped by those feelings, then putting my hand on my heart and knowing home. It was me feeling in awe of modern miracle of a hospital.
It’s Kendalle, a doctor, wife and mom, checking in on the Life Organizer Facebook alum page about getting off track. “I have descended into a slippery slope of not listening to myself and not trusting that I am doing enough. However, I am now aware of it, so today, when my daughter and I were doing errands, I decided to do one errand and come home. I took a nap. I revised parts of my manuscript, but instead of accepting that was enough work for today, I started screening a medical school application. I did not get far before I realized that I am tired and that I have done enough for today. I stopped. This is how I brake when I am sliding down a slippery slope of overdoing and not accepting that I am enough: I realize what I am doing, and I decide and act upon the fact that, for today, I have done enough. I am so grateful for the opportunity to begin again by listening to myself, not to the oughts and the shoulds but simply to listen to what I want.”
It’s beginning again using smart tools and vast self-kindness. Not sexy but oh so real and powerful.
It’s Barbara, a coach, corporate trainer, and inspirational speaker, connecting being enough – which she really got in the course- with satisfaction. “I am able to bring enough into my daily life now, to know what is enough in my daily efforts. It’s been huge for me, it’s shifted everything. I thought I knew what being enough meant, I mean my license plate says, ‘You are Worthy,’ but declaring what will satisfy me, understanding it, that rocks my world. Now having one square of chocolate is heaven. Before I might have eaten a bunch of M&M’s. Now I can focus on the experience of being satisfied. It is so enough.” Truer life is allowing yourself – and daring – to name what you want and claim it.
I’ve had to learn, and relearn, that life is not a destination I’m going to arrive at one day, and then feel safe, feel that I am enough, but rather a daily experience I choose. It’s the daily habits and tools I apply. It’s not big, it’s not Facebook shareable, but it’s my truer life chosen by me. Lived real. Kendalle’s and Barbara’s, mine and yours.
Here’s to growth!