Thousands of women have downloaded The Writer’s Oasis Organizer and I delighted you are loving it so much and even more so, using it! Thank you!
And I forgot to mention a VERY important part of dreaming and planning (Writer’s Oasis members I’ll dive into this in more depth this Friday), which is:
What to do if dreaming and planning makes you so anxious you freeze!
For a whole mess of cultural and historical reasons (one example: #metoo), it can be frightening for women to desire. To want.
So frightening we don’t even allow ourselves to discover what we want. To acknowledge in the privacy of our hearts what we want.
Because you must want something to make a plan to get it.
But we can feel too exposed, positive something bad will happen.
Or that we’re being selfish, don’t have the right, who do we think we are?
Or fear we’ll careen out of control and neglect everything else.
Or we might say “What’s the point? It’s all been done before and better.”
Or “I failed before and it hurt and I’m not going out there and be hurt like that again.”
Or “I’m tired. It’s hard to get excited about anything.”
Whatever the particular flavor of our story, the effect is the same: we stop ourselves from dreaming.
But you know what? All your reasons? They are how your emotional immune system is trying to keep you safe.
Humans are wired to stay inside the tribe, inside the cave.
When we try anything new, or even think about it, we get anxious.
Even if we aren’t aware that we are. In fact, we often aren’t.
We tell ourselves we are afraid of failure, change, risk or that we are lazy, lack discipline, or talent.
When you take a risk or even plan to take a risk, your emotional immune system freaks out, “Attack in process! Shut everything down! Go to the known!”
Like an allergy attack for your regular immune system, it’s not the pollen itself that causes the painful reaction of swollen eyes and a headache but your immune system’s reaction to the pollen. The pollen itself is totally benign.
So is the action you want to take. The writing you want to do, the online dating profile you want to post, the dance class you want to try. You aren’t afraid of that – you are afraid of being undefended. Outside the cave.
Which means you can to learn to remind yourself you are safe and “defended” no matter what.
You don’t have to get will power or discipline or wish for more talent but rather practice feeling safe as you take action.
It might look like:
“I’m a grown up. I can learn, I can recover, I can always try something else” coupled with deep breaths and long exhales. Then take one simple step. Then celebrate that step.
Repeat repeat repeat.
What if that’s what it took to move into action on your wonderful new year?
What if you could get your writing and creating done more often and enjoy it?
What if you could clear the clutter, build your business, improve your health, fall in love with your self again?
I’m here to say hell yes you can!
P.S. If you love the The Writer’s Oasis Organizer would you please share this page with friends and on social media?
P.P.S. And if you want more help being in action and taking small steps with your writing, I’m teaching How To Get Your Writing Done Presentation on January 15th in Seattle for Creative Live. You can attend live or watch it that day for free. More info here.