Tanya has to be one of the most loved people on the planet. She’s kind and loving and one of the smartest coaches I’ve ever worked with. She’s a lovely writer and a wise teacher. In a word: she is love. I’m so happy to share this post with you.
She’s also a certified Life and Business Coach (CPCC, ACC), TEDxWomen speaker, and teaches women how to overcome the Impostor Complex in their life, in their work, and in their life’s work. I enjoyed her most recent offering: The 12 Lies of the Impostor Complex (and One Truth).
Take it away, Tanya!
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How do you choose the life you want?
It’s a daily commitment, this ‘choosing the life I want’ business. Constant calibration. Dutiful discernment. Choices, choices, choices. This not that. This AND that. Neither this NOR that.
And of course, it’s the honour of a lifetime. There are few (if any) days that I do not look at the myriad of choices on display before me that all line up and point to the life I desire and DON’T count my blessings. How could I not?
But in complete and total honesty? Just between you, me and the 20,000 other readers here? For an indecisive Libran like me, this can be a total grind.
I get it. I hear it. Poor, poor me. Tooooooo many delicious choices…like the first time I went to a supermarket in the US and could not wrap my head around the infinite array of chocolate bars on offer…’cause in Canada growing up, we had, like six, to choose from. Nougat AND caramel AND coconut AND dark chocolate? Hell’s bells, how’s a kid to choose? The overwhelming options were tantalizing, but there was comfort in returning to Canada, where nuts/no nuts was the choice.
At my worst…which is frankly me at my most tired, I yearn for a simpler time…the days of my corporate gig in advertising. When I knew exactly what I was expected to do when I arrived at my desk in the morning. And I did it. Day in and day out. To soul-sucking results.
(Let me be clear….I have no doubt that I could also have created the life that I wanted back then too…I just didn’t know it at the time. THE SECRET: that I had choice about my days, my energy, my capacity and my direction.)
But I know now. Hoo boy, do I know now.
I know that every single morning, I get to wake up and my choices will determine the day’s outcome. If I choose to take care of my spirit, body, mind, or hit the snooze button. If I choose to say “yes” when my soul’s screaming “no”. If I choose to move towards my desires or away from them. If I choose to have a second glass of wine or good rest and water. If I choose to swing out, look foolish and risk rejection, or stay safe and soothed. If I choose to connect or disconnect. I choose my intentions…or risk them being assigned by forces beyond me. Some days the choices are clear. Other times, less so.
But these choices ARE the honour of a lifetime. And I asked for them.
I asked for them and I asked for more.
When things feel lean in my business, I remember that I asked for more spaciousness, baths, yoga and time with my family. And in busier times, I remember that I asked to be in demand. That I asked for the interviews and gigs and clients and project deadlines.
I asked for these choices. And I fall to my knees in thanks.
“How do you choose the life you want?”
Intentionally. Gratefully. Messily. With commitment, calibration and discernment.
“If I choose…” Yes! My current favorite mindful question is, “What am I choosing right now?” Awareness + gentle kind talk = oh, I don’t actually want to check email right now, I want to write!
Here’s to choosing. Thanks again, Tanya.
Love,
Jen
