It Isn’t About Permission


When you’re changing some aspect of your business, your relationship, your health, floating a new idea or navigating your life in a more inner-directed way, it’s totally normal to want to discuss that with people you trust. Even to seek a dollop of permission, a pat on the heart. It’s human!

Don’t go it alone, do seek input and support but try doing it the way I outline in this Wednesday Spontaneous Video – it’s a great blend of self-trust & outside data, swirled together for maximum goodness.

This video includes the usual funny faces, weird sound effects + green juice & new jewelry by Liz!

The Mastermind / Soul Posse course I mention is here.   Highly recommended!

Enjoy and please do tell me how the video lands, I love hearing how you apply these ideas especially since you so often make them far better!

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playcrane - July 17, 2013

I think the degree to which we need permission as adults is partially a function of personality and how much the adults (teachers, parents, coaches, etc.) required us to ask permission before doing anything. When I do child-centered play therapy, often in the first couple of sessions the child will ask permission several times. My goal is for them to trust themselves, as you said, and help them see that they get to choose and be responsible for their choices. Hmmm…. makes me wonder if part of us by asking permission of someone is hoping that someone will take partial responsibility if we fail.

    jenlouden - July 17, 2013

    good insight, i can see that my daughter… and probably myself!

Intuitive Leadership Coach - July 17, 2013

I have the green juice (cucumber + green pepper + green apple + kale = yum!) have the very warm weather (yes!) and WANT the Master Mind Group pleeeeeeeeeeease!!!

I’m absolutely going to check out your course Jennifer.

Right now however I don’t feel like starting a MM group but would prefer to join one: do you have recommendations in your course about that? Where to look for a MM, how to choose, how to get invited…???


    jenlouden - July 17, 2013

    There is a Facebook group where people do find other members that goes along with the course. However, the way the course works you have to do enough of the homework to tell the group what you are looking for. 🙂

Lydia Puhak - July 17, 2013

very permissive! …truly… it’s great to sit here and contemplate all
this with you, Jen! (you and your green drink, me and my home-made
kombucha! 🙂 ) taking in the “data” of other people’s reactions and
responses to my brilliant ideas (or concerns about the world or
existential questions and other teensy matters) is my A#1 way of
discerning and sorting… I’ve noticed that I’m often compelled to run
things past certain people to shake things up a bit (with good
intentions) for myself, perhaps them, too, and for the sheer sake of
creating a ripple of change without attachment to any particular
outcome. I’ve found that my biggest struggle, by and large, is getting
myself into a place of enoughness around having the right number, quality and variety of these sorts of interactions, but I’m workin’ on it! it’s cold here today – probably won’t top 62, so I appreciate the wishes of warmth! thank you, thank you!! <3

Ang Wilson - July 17, 2013

Love love LOVE the cross referencing with your heart and belly Jen! That sang to me – and I will borrow and use that with joyous abandon!
Thank you, fabulous words – again! happy days Ang x

Hilde - July 18, 2013

I’m having a whole personal quest for trust at the moment. Trust in myself and trust in the universe. But the thing that really resonated today is that I need other people’s input. I am independent to a fault, and do believe I should be able to do it all by myself. This weekend, a dear and trusted friend is coming to stay. I’ll be sharing my quest with her and listen to the data she has to share. Thank you for your thoughts. Brilliant as usual.

    jenlouden - July 18, 2013

    Thanks Hilde, glad the ideas were of use. I hope your time with your friend is nourishing.

Paula - July 18, 2013

Permission and integrating input from others are big issues for me. I really understand your client who had her plan worked out, but needed affirmation – it’s really tough to provide that ourselves, sometimes. I’m not entirely sure why that is, but I do agree that when we seek external input that it’s very important to slowly and realistically compare that with our own desires and needs. Thank you for saying that. I can hear it again and again.

I generally plan like I’m “loading for bear”, so I’m usually really ready to begin a project, but then I fear the starting or launching phase, so “permission” and input are critical because I know darn well I won’t really put anything out there without them. Still, I also fear that input because I often let it sidetrack what I really want to try. So that’s why going back to the journal and the mat is super important, even though it seems like it takes forever to understand and integrate everything in that way. I’ guess I’m both too impatient and too scared.

On another note: I love your musical introduction to the videos, but on my computer it is incredibly LOUD in comparison with the actual video. Is it just my computer, or is there something that can be done so that the intro and the video sound are at the same decibel level?

    jenlouden - July 18, 2013

    Yes working on the music thing, sorry! Will get that sorted.

    And love the takes forever comment – isn’t that the root of it?? For me at least, the slow process of knowing what I really want, honoring that, not stamping all over it to get things tidied up and DONE. Sigh.

      Paula - July 18, 2013

      And, for me, not only is too slow to DONE a challenge, but I always have ten thousand new ideas, and just contemplating going through this process at that frequency makes me want to give up. And actually, that’s the solution, isn’t it – to be selective about what we take on, giving up some of those ideas. I will likely always need to relearn that.

Lorie Marshall Roerden - July 18, 2013

Thanks you for posting this fabulous video!!! Just what I needed to hear today! 😀

Kathryn Antyr Costa - July 18, 2013

Your video is reminding me to sit, sit quietly, and to integrate, and to just be. I’ve been data gathering a lot this week for the next visible step and I need to relax and sink into it. Thanks!

Body Image Boosters From The Blogosphere 7.21.13 | Weightless - July 21, 2013

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anne - September 3, 2013

This is great, I couldn’t agree more. My problem is that the quality of my friends has diminished so much that I don’t care what they think, hence the need for a life change. If there isn’t someone you admire and whose opinion you value in your life, where do you go to bounce these ideas around? A quandary for sure.

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