Instructions to Self on Becoming Supple

May 9, 2011

Give up all hope of ever getting it together

rinse & repeat 10000000 times a day without succumbing to despair and resignation

Claim my light and shadow back from where I have flung them – light, not just shadow

compare = despair

Give up my search for answers and hone instead strong questions, like metal detectors pinging for lost watches, quarters, love

take a blanket and pillow into the tangle of uncertainty, and make myself a nest there

Decide to love so much I am no longer willing to turn away from what is broken, stupid, unfair

then forgive myself when I do

Squirm but ask, “How much do I give? Do I buy a I-pad or save a girl’s life?”

Be curious when I buy the I-pad or save the girl’s life – what story did I tell myself this time?

Be pierced by the longing to do, to help, to serve and

take a long, hot bath, a writing retreat, a sabbatical

Let myself serve where my heart is breaking

until my heart loops back on itself

a supple infinity of savoring & serving





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