Desire is not well behaved.
Desire is wild.
Desire is demanding.
Desire is insistent.
As I wrote in The Life Organizer,
Desire is the flow of life we yearn to swim in, the urge to be one with Spirit, and the way to stay in touch with this flow is through knowing what we want without insisting that we get it. It is staying with the feeling of desire, following it with curiosity, that leads us ever closer to what we most want.
It is tempting, however, to ignore desire. To think, “I don’t really want to save the world. I don’t really want to leave my comfy life and go out there… I don’t really want to write this book.”
When you ignore your desire, it is not because you aren’t worthy or strong or brave.
It is not because you don’t want what you want enough.
It may be because you need a friend, a community, someone to be with you as you desire.
It may be you need to name some baby steps.
It may be you need to let yourself burn, to feel pure desire without ever knowing if you will fulfill it.
In our humbleness, in our not knowing, lies our ability to keep desiring and to keep taking action without becoming ego manics or extremists — and without falling into fear or guilt so deep, we do nothing.
The brilliant Lorin Roche (husband of my wild Dakini soul friend Camille Maurine) writing in Meditation On Desire From The Radiance Sutras, offers this help:
When a desire arises in you, let it flow. Sense the sparkle and flash as the desire springs up. Put your whole attention into that flashing energy. Seeing desire in this way brings tranquility and equanimity. As you absorb the energy of the desire, you glow with satisfaction.
Give the desire space to live in your inner world before you go for it in the outer world. The technique here is to savor the energy of desire and use it as you would a mantra, a focus for meditation. Desires flow, like an electric current – let that flow of juice nurture and energize you. Imbibe the sparkle, dissolve, transcend with that desire and be fulfilled.
I do not want to miss out on life because I was afraid to desire. It burns, it hurts, it beckons, it seduces, and most of all, it’s here.
Why waste time resisting?