Creative Triage After A Hurt or Disappointment
Last week I explored that horrible moment when someone tries to crush your creative dreams and this week, let’s talk creative triage– or how to keep from getting stuck in a stinky story that you suck and it isn’t safe to keep going.
Because if you don’t address your fears that “they” are right or you can’t continue, then your creative drive and confidence will be destroyed.
Repair your heart now.
Do something to metabolize your stress. Go for a brisk walk, dance to Pink’s song “I am Here,” hug your pet, make a wild finger painting, journal and name your hurt.
Tell someone what happened. Call a trusted friend and say, “I need to vent for 10 minutes.” If you belong to the Oasis, come to our most recent weekly thread and share what happened. We will witness you without advice.).
Feel the hurt. Drop your story that it means anything about you, your work, or your future, but don’t skip feeling the hurt. What is met can move. Say hi to it, name it, feel it as pure emotion.
Pile on the good. Your brain isn’t going to want to do this but you need to. Ask someone you love to tell you what they love about you.
Feeling too hurt or exposed to ask? Look at pictures, read letters or emails, watch videos that remind you that you are loved, you are good, you are enough.
Action confuses fear. What is one small step you can take to change your mood, to remember you are not helpless, and that nobody gets to dim your shine? Dance for one song. File the overdue insurance paperwork. Make the call to the plumber. Write a thank-you letter.
Feel your why. We do this at my retreats and masterminds: feel into your desire for what you want to create. Why? Because desire — without a focus on the outcome — is motivation for your brain. Why do I want to create X or Y? What do I love about this act of creating?
A lack of nourishing self-care leads to procrastination because it doesn’t feel safe to create anymore. How you treat yourself now – with kindness and love while staying in action, what I call self-compassionate grit — matters.
Finally, remember making what we want is hard work. I often forget this fact. I fall into the silly story that making — my writing, my business, my health, my marriage, Create + Climate, my podcast — should be easy or something is wrong. That is both terribly untrue and incredibly demotivating. The goal is to find ways to make our efforts meaningful and to find flow more often rather than give up because it’s hard.
I hate getting bad reviews. I hate it when someone doesn’t love my programs. I hate it when someone says no to my ask. I hate it and I will never let it stop me. At least, not for long.
And that my friends, is how we do Creative Triage.
I hope you will never let anyone stop you from making what you want.