December is a month that invites us to delight in its magic and connection while bringing with it ambivalence, perhaps stress, and often, grief.
I miss my parents. I miss living near my kids. I miss my sister.
When things are hectic or hard, our brains are habituated to noticing what we don’t have. We focus on what’s not here for us, what we haven’t done yet, and what isn’t enough.
It’s our default.
And our culture is deeply based in not enough.
We’re bombarded with false messages like:
Time is money.
You must be productive at all costs.
Idleness, rest, and pleasure are dangerous. You’ll never get what you want to if you rest. Everything will fall apart.
You won’t be safe.
Our culture says these messages are true and then our brain’s negativity bias engages and off we go into the cycle of feeling not enough, behind, running to catch up.
But, thankfully, we can train our brains to recognize all of this as false.
We can learn to feel satisfied. Enough.
Even in the midst of stress and hardship.
Notice what is enough in this moment.
Here’s what this might look like.
‘Right now, in this moment, I have enough love.’
‘Right now, I have enough oxygen, watter, food.”
‘Right now, I have enough time to do what I need to do.”
Pause. Check in.
What is enough right now, right here?
Doesn’t mean you don’t want more or feel a tug for more or aren’t worried about there being enough tomorrow, but what’s here now in this moment that’s enough?
Not perfect, not ideal: enough.
Feel enough with your senses.
Experience enough energetically.
Right here and now, there is enough.
Enough, for now.
If you’re someone who gets overwhelmed by the holidays for any reason, use this practice and conditions of enoughness (page 230 in Why Bother?) to rest your brain.
If you’re feeling lonely and disconnected during this time of year, what would be enough to help fill you up? In a perfect world, maybe you’d be surrounded by loved ones and beauty and all that you need.
But is your cozy blanket, mug of tea, and a good book enough, in this moment, for now?
Thank you for being here, for allowing me into your life. Thank you for being someone who considers these questions because you make the world a better place by doing so.