I am called to lead you into sun drenched wholeness.
I called to paint a picture of you free from shackles, shame, blame and ill health.
I am called to model a whole-body yes to whatever life brings.
I am called to help you find and live your heart’s desire.
I am called to ask you to consider the whole of the world & all beings as you live your heart’s desire so that we live in holy communion with all desire.
I am called to write stories that bring you home.
That’s what I’m called to do.
And yes, I’ve been avoiding fully embracing this call.
So what? Finding and living your calling is all about peeling the onion of your resistance and your sputtering”but but but” until you get to the heart of it.
And then something else gets peeled because nothing about this process is ever ever static or done. Which is such blessed good news.
Which brings me to how I’ve avoided my heart’s desire. See if they sound familiar.
- “Oh shucks, not me. I can’t do that.”
- But I have to earn a living (make sure and say this in a whining frantic voice.)
- But ______ is working, I’m making money/people like it, how can I stop now???
- If I had done ____ better in the past, I would have more money/bigger reach/knowledge and then I could really go for my heart’s desire. But since I didn’t…
I’ve spent far too much time wishing I could have a big do over and wrap the past in perfect, pleased everyone, and made lots more money so I could now risk everything while maintaining my comfortable life.
Yes I have had great success, yes I do have money in the bank, and the point is not reality, the point is what gets in my way. I’m sharing my mess here so be gentle.
Besides, you know what’s so hysterical? The past does not matter. The S/hero’s journey happens now.
Following your calling means no guarantees. It requires real risk, not Disneyland or movie montage risk. To find and live your unfolding heart’s desire, your deepest truth, requires burning.
It requires falling in love with your own mess, with whatever feels like a huge ugly pain in the ass. It requires saying yes to all the ick. 17,000 times yes.
It requires being committed to living your truth more than anything. Even more than your own comfort. Certainly more than your own ego.
And that, my darling, is why I have hedged my calling, avoided it, played the edges.
I’m ready to peel my heart open another layer. How about you?
