I’ve been reaching out to people I admire to share their why bother stories – the times in their lives they felt stuck or lost or despairing – big or and small – and what turned things around.
Today’s story is from the wonderful Anna Guest-Jelley.
I struggle with “Why bother” in my work on a pretty regular basis, but sometimes it’s more acute than others. How it shows up for me is in feeling like I’ve already said everything I have to say, that someone else does it better, that no one cares, etc.
Pretty charming, I know. 😉
In a recent moment when this showed up strongly, the first thing I did was pause. I’d like to say I paused with awareness, but it’s more like I paused with defeat. I started planning out closing my business and going to live in the woods because clearly the jig was up. I shared this with a friend and she said, “Oh, I know you struggle with this sometimes. I’d like to understand it more. Can you tell me more about it?”
And I was like, “she’s right! This isn’t new!” And because I knew it wasn’t new, I also began to recognize it as a pattern. And once I saw it as a pattern, a way I respond to stress, fear, and vulnerability, that was enough to begin to shift me into something else. Because if it was a pattern and not the TRUTH, then I could see a clearing for reevaluating and recommitting.
These days I’m feeling bothered in a good way about so much: continuing to excavate this pattern, living into the next iteration of my work (and not having to know 100% all at once!), and my young daughter’s delight in, well, pretty much everything.
You can follow Anna Guest-Jelley here: