8 Weeks into the Experiment: Heart’s Desire Found

Apr 8, 2011

I launched this experiment 8 weeks ago.

I can only chuckle at my fantasies of what would happen in eight weeks. I am so good at fantasies.

Savoring and serving? Got nothing to do with fantasy.

It’s got everything to do with being in your body. Honoring what you can do today. And doing it.

When you read the 47 entries in Stepping into Your Shero’s Journey (free download) you don’t read, “Then I eradicated poverty in Africa single-handedly before breakfast.” You read about smart brave ordinary women finding their sovereign way of serving – and how deeply it is linked to being in a body, to descending into the shit of life and using that to connect to others.

I started this project by saying I was looking to name my (next’s) heart desire and I have discovered what it is. Nice. If that sounds a bit understated, it is because it turns out,  it’s not a big deal. It just is.

To be a global force of good, to foster and model joyful service; to work with people who are looking for new purpose to take action and to make a difference. To work in different settings and countries mobilizing women to take action.

I do not shake or shrink as I write that. It is my simple grounded truth. The mean voices natter on about how I don’t know shit about development or service and how will I make a living and blah blah blah. I put my ear plugs in and keep going.

Reading Sasha’s blog this morning I glimpsed part of the distinction I’m trying to embody:

Because I do believe that one has a different orientation when one says, “I’m here to make a change in the world” (goal-oriented, and with it ego) and when one says, “I’m here to serve.”  To be sure, if we, our employees, our volunteers, our donors do not feel nourished, respected, honored, and challenged, then there is no way we can serve others effectively.  But are careers dedicated to service fundamentally different? What is the right balance here?

There is something different calling me and I am surrendering to it without fantasy (okay some of the time) and without drama (okay, give me a little wiggle room).

Savoring and serving is sensual like a river of longing teasing me forward.

Come play with me, it whispers, waking me up from a deep sleep – literally.

Come savor me, come serve me. Not change the world, serve the world. Serve joyfully. Serve joy.

and

“I don’t have time to savor this moment” and “Service has to be a big deal” are twins separated at birth. Savor now! So much more fun than shrinking from the full-throated yes of life coursing down your gullet. So much better than rushing, postponing, withering. Serve now as you can in the now! So much sweeter than consigning yourself to loneliness and frustration, devaluing what you do have to offer right now.

Thoughts?

P.S. Tomorrow at the Savor & Serve Cafe we are dedicating the day to savoring, setting the intention to explore savoring and share what we experience. If you are not a member, join us by posting here. I’ll share a couple of my posts from the Cafe in the comments of this post.

P.P.S We know some aspects of my site are not working correctly – we’re working on it.

 

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