I don’t like to talk about self-love. The subject has always made me uncomfortable because like my spiritual life, it feels so very intimate, so close to my heart, it feel awkward to discuss with the right amount of depth and care. It reminds me of why I hated taking communion in “the round” – encircled by the rest of the church – because it felt like far too private a moment to be witnessed.
Self-love is, of course, a spiritual practice. It is, ultimately, about the relationship between you and Source. It is inhabiting the truth – through your thoughts, deeds, and actions – that there is no separation. And that feels so astonishing to me, I just don’t always know what to say. It also makes me less than forgiving when people trivalize the conversation about self-love. That makes me weary or even angry.
But, of course, we must try to talk about this mysterious intimate practice or how will others learn? And how we will reconnect when we forget? But how can we do it in a way that is reverent and helpful?
I like how Christine Arylo talks about self-love, especially in her new book: Madly in Love With Me.
I gave a copy to my daughter as she thirsts for a way to speak to herself more kindly. Christine writes in the lighthearted tone perfect for women who don’t cotton to self-help while teaching some of the most important ideas about self-regard, including one of my favorite topics, self-trust.
Keeping with my 50th birthday giveaway, here are today’s gifts – may they increase your knowing that you are divine. (New here? I turn 50 on November 30th and I’m giving stuff away every few days. The first giveaways are here and here and here. More to come.)
A convo between me and Christine designed to reignite your self-love flame. We jaw about:
- The difference between self-love and self-esteem (Christine makes a great distinction).
- How to never let your self-love tank run on empty again.
- What to do when self-care is literally impossible and you are crispy fried dried to a rind.(I get testy on this one & Christine delivers.)
- What Christine does to recenter when she runs herself ragged .
I hope this interview is useful. Feel free to share with your girlfriends and daughters!