Healing Money Shame with Bari Tessler

Money shame. Who doesn’t have a dollop of it? Sometimes more than a dollop, sometimes a whole gushing personal Niagara falls of it.

I have money shame. I’m ashamed of the year I hired expensive business consultants who did nothing for my bottom line and I kept paying. I’m ashamed of the classes I have bought but never listened to. I’m ashamed of the times I’ve gotten excited about business ideas only because friends were, not because they were a good fit for me. Of buying essential goals and chocolate from friends MLM programs. Of always spending too much at Christmas. Of not really understanding my P&L.

I do all the “right” money things — have a bookkeeper, a CPA, look at my P&L every quarter, pay my taxes on time, carry no debt except a small loan on my house, have cash in the bank, retirement account, pay my health insurance… you would think I would feel very tidy about money.

Not at all. Instead, I fret that I should be making more money, and in ways that allow me to sit on a beach and serve more (talk about a high standard!).

My money shame is about making more because that would = being best.

I know it’s not true — and most of the time I laugh at it — “Ha ha money story, I laugh in your face” — and still, sometimes, it nips me in the heart and hisses, “Are you sure this savoring and serving thing is really enough? Did you see what so-and-so published/launched this week?”

Shame wilts in the light of awareness. By telling each other our stories, and treating them with kindness and respect, we can change how we feel and work with money. Which is so so so important if we are going to create a world that functions for all. We can’t serve if we can’t take care of ourselves!

So that’s why I invited Bari Tessler to chat today. Her super power is unshaming us around money. I know listening this short interview will be useful and nourishing for you.

We talk about:

*How Bari went from fearing math to devouring manuals on bookkeeping and Quicken.

* The doorway into changing your relationship with money starting now.

* What a money map is and how to start one.

* What role good chocolate plays in conscious money.

Bari Tessler

Please read more about Bari’s course The Art of Money – just doing so might be healing. It’s designed to make your relationship with money unshameful and nourishing – wow! Go check it out here.

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Hannah - January 11, 2013

Thanks for posting the interview, I’m looking forward to listening to this. As a recovering money self-shamer, in the past I’ve also set myself financial goals that aren’t aligned with other desires in my life, criticised myself when I couldn’t reach them and compared myself to other people.

Like food, money is primarily a practical item (although it can definitely bring pleasure too!), yet it’s such an emotive topic in our society. That’s why it’s so great to talk about it.

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