But wait! You might ask, what was the question?

If you had to relocate to a place in which you knew virtually no one, how would you go about finding or creating a community of intelligent, creative, professional women (very much like yourself) who are interested in becoming their best self in order to do their best work – whatever that may be?

Of course, the following wisdom will work if you want to extend or refresh your present tribe without moving. Thanks to all of these amazing smarty pants – be sure and click on their links to expand your world. And why not forward this anyone you know who it moving or lonely? That’s savoring & serving in style.

I moved to Amsterdam for the fall 3 years ago and knew no-one. Before I left I started @craveamsterdam on twitter and followed like-minded women entrepreneurs.  I tweeted content relating to business and responded to comments.   When I got to Amsterdam, I had coffee dates and lunches set up.   In two months I had over 30 new contacts that lead to me starting a business there shortly after.  Without twitter this could not have happened so fast.  — Melody Biringer 

My number one choice for meeting people in a strange new place would be to do a little advance footwork from a comfortable old one: poking around on the twitters/Facebook for like-minded souls in a particular location can be done from your present home as well as your new one. But in a new place, I’d try the same thing (poking through friends of friends by location, then perhaps asking for introductions, searching Meetup groups, etc.). I’d just augment it with visits to the kinds of places where One’s People tend to hang—in my case, where they pull a good Americano, the few remaining bookstores, theaters, cool lecture societies, and so on. And if you’re totally flummoxed, consider service groups like Toastmasters. Friendly folk, plus you’ll learn something, to boot. — Colleen Wainwright

Stay connected with the people you’ve already found, because no matter where you all are, you’re weaving a web of light that is sustaining all of you. Ask this question now, before you get caught in settling your new life: who do you want to be? Decide right now to be that. Then go out & do that in every moment. Your people will come to you in surprising ways, because they’re all looking for you, too. — Brian Andreas

The best thing I ever learned was to meet face-to-face and be genuinely curious about the person across from you. And always, always ask the question: Who else do you know that I should be talking to? This makes visible the invisible network of interesting, passionate women in your new community. We’re out there, we just need to know that you’re here! — Jen Hofmann

I would peruse the local newspapers for interviews with people who seem like kindred spirits and then I’d contact them, tell them about myself and ask if they’d like to have coffee.  This technique is really forward, but if you have an online presence to back up your email, your legitimacy as a kindred spirit comes through. Also, I’d join a local knitting group. — Bridget Pilloud

Just show up, with bells on if ya have them (as in: be enthusiastically IN and AVAILABLE when you arrive. Go where the vibration is high for you–whatever that means for you.) Eyes UP and AROUND (when you are getting into the groove–graze with your eyes. What are you drawn to? What areas of town? When you are in community, who’s eyes lock with yours and invite you in.) Be inviting and invite others with clear intention: “Hi, you seem interesting and I’m new here, want to take a walk together?” Keep it easy breezy. — Dyana Valentine

When I go to places and events that attract me, I invariably meet other kindred spirits.  The key is to allow ourselves to tell the truth and be vulnerable, “I’m brand new here and am eager (desperate, in fact!) to connect with more intelligent and creative women like you. Would you be willing to be my big sis’ for a while?” — Gail Larsen 

I’d do what I always do in a new town, whether I’m visiting, or staying awhile: go to the bookstore. Especially in a foreign country, where I’d head for the nearest English-language bookstore. Hang around awhile, look at the books that interest you and see who else is also looking at them. If no one in particular is around, strike up a conversation with the bookstore owner or clerk. — Barbara Sher

I’ve relocated twice in the last five years. Both times to places I knew not a soul. My secrets ?  #1 I began before I left. #2 I took those connections with me. #3 I selectively invited new, knock-my-socks-off women to join the party already in progress.  #4. Viva FreeConference.com & SKYPE video!  — Lissa Boles

Get thee to the nearest gay bar, pronto. . — Alexandra Franzen

I would make a collage about the essence of the community I want to create. Then I would follow my intuition starting with a bookstore (old fashioned me), followed by a library, educational centers, art galleries, spiritual communities, a health food store, and any funky cafes. Next, I would link with my social media buds. — Gail McMeekin

Open my heart up wide to this desire and visualize the Universe as kind witness to my longing. Expect connections that I can act on to emerge. Assume that their timing and packaging won’t always be what I’d script for them. Lean into trust that all is always as it needs to be. — Kristin Noelle

As the daughter of a Marine, my nomadic ways began at a very young age and have stayed with me throughout my life. I have moved and re-located many times, and over the years have come to appreciate the space of time when I am in a new area and don’t know anyone. There is something freeing about it, something “blank slate-ish” about it that I’ve learned to love. Not that I want to be a different person all of a sudden, but that I am free to enjoy calm and quiet and silence more than if I walked into a new environment with a circle of friends fully formed. Savor the time when you are flitting about more freely. You will find your people; in the meantime, let the wind take you where it will. — Christina Miller

Tap into your virtual communities both for ongoing support you can take with you and to ask for connections near your new home. Once relocated, ask “Who can I most help? Right here. Right now.” Then boldly go serve these people. When you serve from a place of passion and compassion, you will quickly find opportunities to network with others dedicated to living their best life design. – Dr. Mollie Marti

Incidentally, I just relocated to a new city in August, so I’m familiar with this scenario! I don’t mean to sound glib, but I’d start by checking in with myself to make sure that I was doing my best work to become my best self, because I believe that that radiates. After that? My approach would be pretty low-key. I’d be going to yoga classes, writer’s groups, meditation centers, and just meeting people and getting a sense for who they are. Energy speaks volumes, and the way that we interact when we first meet–is there that “pop pop!” of friendship chemistry?–would mean more to me than whether or not someone was self-identifying as intelligent, creative, professional. I would also utilize resources from MeetUp, which I have found to be a good place to find groups of people who are getting together over like-minded interests.  — Kate Swoboda

I would start by asking why I want this community. Whatever you want from that group of women, find ways to bring it into your new life now. Then you sail your magnificent self out the door of your new abode, and move toward the people. Every day. Follow your instinct, go where the people are, and let the beauty of who you are draw your people to you. May your new life be a pageant of wonder! — Max Daniels

First, with social media, it’s getting increasingly difficult to relocate to a place where I know virtually no one. But, if I did, I’d probably jump online and find people on twitter and/or Facebook in my area and start conversations. I’d check meetup.com for local groups with shared interests. And, gulp, I might even go to the local library, community center, school, yoga studio or spiritually-based place and look for real live people who share common values and interests and build conversations from there.  — Jonathan Fields

I did this exact thing when I moved to Bath. When I look at the women I now have in my (local) tribe, I see that I found all of them through my blog. It acted like a lighthouse that caught the attention of the right people, who then reached out to me… we had coffee… the rest is history. So write a blog. Be visible. Be real. Send your intention out there and always know where your nearest Starbucks is. — Susannah Conway

The first thing I’d do in my new locale is find the yoga studio.  I would scour the Events postings, befriend fellow students, and get a sense of the city vibe.  The women I want to meet are probably yoginis in addition to whatever they do professionally. — Amy Kessel

1. Insinuate yourself into the heart of creative, professional, spiritual hub-bub. Go to events, centers, co-working spaces, Meet Ups – wherever the desired action is. (Tons of creativity MeetUp groups online!)
2. Observe. Find allies. It only takes two to build a community and change a neighborhood.
3. Volunteer audaciously. Assume leadership. Host your own event or gathering.
4. Let go of outcome.
5. Be thy radiant self.
– Jeffrey Davis

Do what you love.  For me, this means, being a part of art local shows, going to Burning Man and camping with people from my city, talking to “strangers” who I feel an intuitive attraction to (one of my favorite pastimes:)) and volunteering at places I feel passionate about—all great ways to meet like-minded people while following my passions at the same time. — Flora Bowley

There are many local organizations already in place, no matter where you relocate, and you can leverage them easily to create your own community. Pick up a plain ol’ phone book and look for community development groups, business centers, clubs and existing meet-ups. Then get in touch with them: Present a plan for what you’d like to achieve and ask for their help.

Many people have also successfully organized workshop dinners – they organize a presentation, contact a restaurant, reserve the space and advertise an educational evening over fine dining and wine. Others put on smaller workshops or events – a Saturday afternoon presentation on a specific topic. This gives attendees a chance to learn and network, and it also gives you a chance to introduce yourself to the community and present your services.

Oh, and why not steal ideas? Try to think of local events YOU might like to attend after browsing what’s up and coming in newspapers or on bulletin boards – then brainstorm ways you can put together the same sort of event for other people and get them signing up!   — James Chartrand

I’ve done this. In 2005 I moved across the country to California where I didn’t know anyone at all. There were a few things I did that helped me create community and from which I was able to find like-minded women.

a) I got a job at a popular cafe. I got to know all the regulars and had a place to go where, soon, everyone knew my name.

b) I began hosting my own community potluck dinners in my house. Inviting anyone and everyone I met and it was a huge success.

c) I went every Saturday to the farmers market and over time formed relationships with the other regular shoppers and vendors.
– Rachel Cole

Get crystal clear about the mojo you want so that you can spot it when you see it. Make hand drawn posters that tell people why this matters. Then go old school: Plaster them anywhere + everywhere that might match the mojo of your community. — Fabeku Fatunmise

Go forth and tribe it up! LOVE love LOVE!Like this post? You might also like:

• Savoring & Serving with Lisa Evans
• Savoring & Serving with Britt Bravo
• Are You Ready to Play Big?

He has one of those magical minds that sees patterns and creates frameworks. He has put together so much of what I have been learning doing Savor & Serve – part of me thought “Crap! I wish I had thought of that!” but most of me was like “Thank the heavens, someone has.”

Read on and let the simplicity and depth of Curt’s ideas ripple through you. May this be the beginning of a huge revolution.

Thanks for sharing it here first Curt.

Have you ever been sitting there pouring your daily dose of toxic sludge into your brain (i.e., watching the news) and started to feel a creeping sense of helplessness? “In the face of the bazillion things wrong with the world,” says a resigned voice in your head, “what difference can one person possibly make?”

Here’s a reality check. Each of us has the potential to make a huge difference in the world. Mind-bogglingly huge!

We don’t have to be famous, rich, or Mother Theresa to do it, either. It happens through the choices we make and the actions we take in our everyday lives.

And contrary to popular perception, changing the world isn’t exclusively about giving and self-sacrifice. It actually starts with living an energized life. The more energized you feel, the more fuel you have to set the positive in motion. Your personal experience feeds the good you can do in the world.

It’s savoring and serving to the nth degree!

There’s a revolution brewing. I call it the Ripple Revolution ^TM. It’s about realizing that our true legacy comes from the ripples our lives set in motion every day. And it’s about fueling that legacy with a fully energized life.

Want to join the revolution? Read on!

Leaving a legacy

At the heart of the Ripple Revolution is the idea of consciously leaving a legacy.

When people talk about leaving a legacy, they frequently mean, “I want to leave something to remember me by.” (I call that an Ego Legacy.) But the cold, hard reality is that most of us will eventually fade and disappear from view.

Fortunately, there’s a deeper and more relevant way to look at it. The real measure of the difference you make is the cumulative positive change set in motion by your choices and actions. It includes both the direct effects and the chain of causes and effects rippling out beyond them.

That cumulative effect is your Ripple Legacy^TM, and its potential to make the world a better place is enormous (did I mention mind-bogglingly huge?).

You’re already leaving a Ripple Legacy, whether you realize it or not. Every choice you make and every action you take sets something in motion. Sometimes the impact is positive. Sometimes…yeah, well not so much. The more conscious you can be about that, the more you can shape your Ripple Legacy in a positive way.

Energize your life!

Drop the idea that making a difference is all about being a self-sacrificing do-gooder. That might work for a while, but it’s not a long-term, sustainable approach.

Instead, recognize that you are both the power source and initiator of any positive impact you have. That means how you feel has an effect on your potential to make a difference. The better and more energized you feel, the more good you can do.

Here’s a simple way to energize your life. I call it maximizing the Gain-to-Drain Ratio. Think of it as a fraction: Gain (what energizes you) over Drain (what depletes you). Your goal is to have as much Gain and as little Drain as possible.

Take a look at the different components of your life (work, relationships, health, finances, etc.) through the lens of gain and drain. What is energizing? What is sucking you dry? How can you bring more of the former into the picture? How can you reduce or even eliminate the drains?

Using the Gain-to-Drain Ratio helps you break it down into specific, actionable, achievable steps you can take to energize your life.

Seven ways to change the world

Over the last few years, as I explored the question of how we make a difference, I realized that they all fell into seven main categories. Those are:

Work:

You can make a difference with your job. That might be, for example, a stereotypical change-the-world job like an activist or a social worker, doing work in support of an organization that is having a positive impact, or working on a project that is making a difference within your organization.

Volunteering and service:

Volunteering and service are both essentially about giving your time and expertise. Volunteering is more formalized and service is less so (like running errands for your neighbor when she’s sick in bed).

How you use your money:

Traditionally this involved giving to charity, but now you have options to explore like socially responsible investing and making microcredit loans through companies like Kiva.org.

Conservation and consumption:

If you’re alive, you’re going to leave a footprint. What that footprint looks like – how you consume and how you conserve – makes a difference.

Interaction:

This is probably the most powerful one because most of us, if we’re awake, are doing this. It can be brief and fleeting, like a smile at someone in the grocery store or stopping to talk to a homeless person like an equal, or it can be deep and long-lasting, like the way you raise your kids.

Energy and prayer:

This includes a range of the metaphysical and spiritual, like directing compassionate energy toward someone who is stressed, or praying for someone you love who is having a challenging time. (Note: If this one doesn’t fit your world view, just ignore it. You have plenty to keep yourself occupied with the others.)

Unintentional:

Finally, there are times we make a difference purely unintentionally. Maybe someone overhears a piece of advice we’re giving a friend and it was just what they needed to hear. Or we resolve a conflict in the office in a productive, positive way and a co-worker who sees it takes that approach in the future.

Do a Ripple Check

Having these seven categories gives you a chance to engage more purposefully in creating your Ripple Legacy. You can start by looking at each of the six proactive categories and asking these questions:

• What difference am I currently making here?
• What difference could I make here?
• What difference do I want to make here?

Remember as you do this that this isn’t a framework that dictates how you should make a difference. It’s simply a framework that helps you think about how you could make a difference. How that actually unfolds is up to you.

Becoming a Ripple Revolutionary is as simple as the next choice you make or action you take. Join us!

About Curt

After years as a professional malcontent, Curt Rosengren discovered the power of passion (www.passioncatalyst.com). Since 2001, as a speaker, author, and coach, Curt has helped people create careers and lives that energize and inspire them. His work focuses on three questions: What lights me up? What difference am I inspired to make? And, how do I weave both of those into a life that lets me thrive?

Curt’s career passion expertise has been quoted in newspapers across the country, including The New York Times, The Boston Globe, and The Seattle Times. His book 101 Ways to Get Wild About Work and his E-book The Occupational Adventure Guide offer tools and ideas for turning dreams into reality.Like this post? You might also like:

• The Revolution Will Not Be Televised – 2011
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They can act as personal courage power strips – plug yourself in. 

Archetypes give you backbone.

And… archetypes can feel removed, remote, fusty. I don’t see myself as Athena or WonderWoman or Rosa Park because they don’t feel attainable (well maybe WonderWoman’s bra…). I know archetypes are not supposed to be attainable but still, I need a bridge between that lofty greatness and day-to-day action.

Enter the custom made Shero.

A chance to outline for yourself the qualities and medium powers (vs. super powers) you desire and need to create a life of wholeness and shimmering sharing goodness.

It’s simple. Ask yourself “To me, a shero is…“  Write a story, a list, a manifesto. Create a Pinterst board, a collage, a sequence of asanas. Throw a Make-Your -Own-Shero party. Ask people in line at the grocery,”What’s a shero?”

All the while, notice: what galvanizes, inspirits, tantalizes you as you explore? Distill that essence to a few words. Live with those.

Do tell what you learn.

Here’s what the Sheros in my class are saying:

• A Shero is a woman who listens to and acts on her inner calling. She is constantly questioning & learning & seeking new ways of seeing things. She believes that love has the power.  Andrea

She has learned from both the losses and the victories. When she stumbles and falls she rises stronger than before. She embraces her role as both a teacher and a learner.  Shirley

• A Shero is utterly devoted to the truth. Jasmine

A *S H E R O* moves in the spaces between the warp and weft of her formerly defining stories, weaving in bright new threads of rich experience and possibility.  Susie

• A woman who lets her dreams pull her forward in the face of fear. Susan

A Shero is a woman who has her shit together, and writes AND lives her own story, not someone else’s.  Maribeth

• I wonder how that looks when she’s tired? Yes, I am tired. Do I have the energy to be a Shero? The energy comes from the connection. In the connection there is no need to push. No need to drive anything. Everything that flowers from here is part of a Shero’s journey.   Sandy

She remains full of hope.  Roberta

There are so many more… but now it is your turn. A Shero is…

Look forward to hearing please post in the comments so everybody can enjoy.

Thanks!Like this post? You might also like:

• You are Creating the New Story
• You Don’t Lack Will-Power, You Might Be Afraid
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Welcome Lissa!

What are you savoring these days?

My husband. Our marriage. I fell in love late at midlife, in the midst of circumstances both wondrous and tragic. We had to dare to let ours

elves trust in love while grieving fresh loss. Many thought we’d lost it, and sometimes so did we. 13 years later, it’s still a daily marvel.

“Our” kids. I’m a stepparent, and given how differently things could’ve turned out, I really savor them and our love for each other.

Our simple, pared down, seasonal life. Summers north in our lake-side cottage. Winters south in a high-desert mountain valley. The steady, sober process we lived to have and enjoy both. The technology that makes it possible to do what I do in both places and most points in between.

The wonder and richness of my work. The brilliance and bravery of the people I’m privileged to work with. The caliber of people I find myself surrounded and supported by.

All of it convinces me there’s good reason to believe in, hope for and work towards a better tomorrow, and that’s something I deeply savor.

What helps you on the days you don’t want to savor?

Quiet. Space. Sunlight. Nature. A hot bath. My husband’s love & wacky sense of humor. Kahlil Gibran’s, “The Prophet.” Remembering serving as well as I want to is impossible when I’m underserving myself to do it.

How are you serving these days?

Last August, a tornado struck my home town. We were at “ground zero” when it happened. Changed me forever. Taught me so much. Including just how reliant we are on the wellbeing of our business community.

It’s why this year’s tithing is devoted to the relief efforts: half to the general recovery fund, half to a family business I adopted and stay in touch with so I keep my heart open to it all and stay awake to ways of giving more than just money.

It’s why The Jupiter Midas Effect 2 Video Conference is an “optional” fundraiser. Everyone’s welcome free of charge, and those who feel called can Pay-It-Forward with me. What I hope to contribute isn’t a lot considering the scale of the damage, but it’s real and tangible and has given my year a really meaningful focus I’m savoring.

If you could serve in any way possible — no restraints, limitations, or boundaries — what would you do? What would it look like?

More of the above: finding creative, soulful & value-driven ways to change business for the better and do more real social good.

****

Known as the Soul Mapper, Lissa Boles is a professional optimist whose use of astrology helps thought leaders and entrepreneurs identify, clarify, and answer their life’s purpose and callings — in business or on the yoga mat. She’s been called a book nut, a coffee snob, and a chocolate freak, accusations she couldn’t deny even if she wanted to.Like this post? You might also like:

• Savor & Serve with Hiro Boga
• Savor & Serve with Susan Piver
• Savoring & Serving with Bridget Pilloud

In a large measure, becoming a writer consists of learning to accept yourself, which makes your work personal, and in following your own voice, which makes your work distinctive.”  Art & Fear by Bayles & Orland

I know self-acceptance is the key to getting your creative work out – out of you, out into the world, out damn spot. But it’s so difficult to access that sweet little truth when I’m having a run of crappy writing.

(The irony is not lost on me.)

But this isn’t your run-of-the-mill crappy (I whine). It’s more like moving through concrete fog wearing high heels crappy. More like working for hours on a guest post and ending up with… nothing crappy. More like laboring over a 150 (150!!) word tidbit for a friend for an hour crappy.

You know the worst part? It feels like it did when I first started writing. I feel so inexperienced and clumsy.

Hmmm… I feel.

Flashing lights! Sirens! Red alert! “I feel” is a GIANT CLUE it’s time to pour on the self-kindness and get on my own side. Why? Because I am confusing me with my work.

I am not my writing.

I am not my work.

You aren’t either. (You also aren’t what you ate or didn’t eat today, what you weigh or don’t weigh, who loves you or doesn’t, if you meditated or didn’t… get the drift?)

We are not what we do. We are essential unstainable goodness.

We just forget. A lot.

Next time your work is going in the crapper, here are few reminders to refresh:

1) Review how you are working and the state of your physical self-care. Are you trying to do more than is humanly possible each day and thus feeling like a failure? Are you eating a lot of sugar or drinking Diet Coke because you feel badly about your creative product? Are you distracting yourself while you work to take the pressure off? Cool and today would be a good day to gently notice how this might be making the crapper worse. Just notice my friend. I’ll wait and I won’t check email while I do.

2) Speaking of product, forget it. Focusing on product too easily becomes: I am good if they like it, I am bad if they don’t. That will crap you out faster than comparing yourself to whomever is the hot writer/painter/teacher of the moment. Instead, direct your gorgeous attention to what you can control – one hour focused on your novel, check; making a color chart for your next painting, check; practicing the guitar before breakfast 5 days a week, check.

3) Heal your creative shame. Do a “Hiro” and ask the part of you that is afraid, ashamed, or hurting to teach you about its pain. Write down what you hear. Ask this part of you what he or she needs to feel safe. Offer it what it asks for if you can.  Next make a voodoo doll of everybody who has ever shamed your creative joy, and come over to my house and we’ll have a glorious bonfire on the beach. (Take that Mrs. Moore!)

4) Lower your standards. Everybody knows the poet William Stafford’s wonderful story about lowering your standards. If you don’t, come here, and I will tell it to you before we write and take pictures and bend our bodies. In the meantime, lower your standards. Then lower them some more.

5) Read journals of other creators process.I love Steinbeck’s journals, Paris Review interviews, Mark Salzman’s True Notebooks (about what he did to get out writer’s block). Tell me in the comments your favorites, please.

6) Bonus! Stop reading anybody who makes you feel less than or bad about yourself. Yes, it’s your projections that are causing you anguish but why do it to yourself? Unsubscribe, unfriend, whatever.

Most of all, my dear friend, let’s join hands and pat each other on the back. We are brave! We are strong! We are Shero’s! We are not NOT our work. And we are not I REPEAT NOT, going anywhere.

Be good to you, my creative friend, and I will do the same.Like this post? You might also like:

• Your Creative Joy is Speaking to You
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I also totally fell for her publishing philosophy at the wildly popular Tiny Buddha community she created: “Though I run this site, it is not mine. It’s ours. It’s not about me. It’s about us. Your stories and your wisdom are just as meaningful as mine.” So refreshing!

Please Savor & Serve with the lovely Lori Deschene.

1. What are you savoring these days?

I love this question! In fact, I just savored it.

Aside from that, I’ve been savoring the experiences of being part of the Tiny Buddha community, and also living in a new apartment.

Since I run Tiny Buddha as a community blog, I publish stories from people of all ages, from all over the world. Recently, I published a post by a 16-year-old girl from Madrid, Spain who has had some challenges similar to the ones I had at her age.

She originally emailed me to let me know how I had helped her with my writing. I found her email so inspiring that I suggested she turn it into a blog post so that she could help others—and she did! I know she moved and motivated countless readers to find strength and be good to themselves.

It makes me proud to know that I had a part in facilitating that experience—for her and for them—and also that I get to learn from so many insightful people every day.

As for my apartment, I’m savoring it because it feels more like a home than my previous spaces—in fact, it’s a long way from the 7’ x 7’ cockroach-infested room I rented in NYC eight years ago, when I was struggling in every way possible.

My boyfriend and I moved into this apartment community (where he works) a few months back; it’s a sprawling gated neighborhood with a suburban feel, right in the heart of Los Angeles. Every day I see mothers pushing strollers and neighbors walking their dogs, and I’ve met some wonderful people who live right nearby.

It’s no coincidence that the two things I’m savoring revolve around community. I spent a lot my life feeling isolated and unworthy of connection. Now that’s the very thing I value above all else.

2. Do you have a favorite passage in your book that might help us savor?

I don’t actually have a favorite, but after I read your question, I immediately looked for this one:

One of the most common misconceptions in life is that what we did yesterday has to somehow dictate what we can do or be today. It doesn’t. We never have to be limited by who we’ve been. At any time, we can decide to be or do something different and totally redirect the trajectory of our lives. In order to do this, we need to know that we are the only one keeping score, and we truly can wipe the slate clean not only on any morning but also at any time. The “day” when we decide to live out loud can start at any moment.

3. How are you serving these days?

That’s an interesting question. I don’t really think of myself as serving because I get something from everything I give. Everything I do that serves others also serves me. The primary way I help others and myself is through Tiny Buddha, where I share my stories and insights, and publish other people’s.

Aside from that, I try to be heroic, based on Dr. Phil Zombardo’s definition. He defines a hero as someone who doesn’t wait and watch when she believes something is wrong but instead steps up to do something. I make it a priority to recognize when someone is hurting, in need, or being mistreated so that I can offer my love, support, and assistance.

4. If you could serve in any way possible—no restraints, limitations, or boundaries—what would you do?

I can! I give back in the way I do because it aligns with my values, needs, skills, and interests. It’s exactly what I want to do and enjoy doing.

One thing that I have learned in recent years is that I don’t need to be everything to everyone. I am grateful that there are people out there who travel abroad to help starving children, start life-changing non-profit organizations, and generally use their time and resources to do big things for the world.

At this point in my life, I am perfectly content to do my tiny part every day through the written word. When I decide to do something different, it won’t be because I feel less restrained or limited. It will be because it feels right for me at that point in time.

5. What would it look like?

I have no idea, and that’s part of the fun. I’ll let you know when I get there! (Be sure you do!)

Lori Deschene is the creator of tinybuddha.com, a community blog that shares stories and tips about applying wisdom to everyday life from people all over the world. She just launched her first book, Tiny Buddha: Simple Wisdom for Life’s Hard Questions, a collaborative project that presents varied perspectives and possibilities for meaning, joy, happiness, fulfillment, and connection.

Pick up a copy, you’ll love it!Like this post? You might also like:

• Savor & Serve with Melissa McCreery
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Right at the end of my sabbatical, Kripalu contacted me about my yearly teaching gig. Martha asked me if I would consider doing two retreats with them, my usual Luscious Self-Care Retreat and… what else?

The words “Shero’s Journey” plopped out of my mouth. I raised an eyebrow to myself thinking, “And what would that mean Jenny Bee?” But I trusted what was moving in me, and so did Martha, and I taught a wondrous 3 day retreat.

As has been true for all my creative life, the best ideas plop out and then I spend years or decades living in/up/through them.

Today I offer you a video about one aspect of the Shero’s Journey – staying awake in which I share my writing chaise, my dog Stuart, and my new faux hawk.

To watch directly on Vimeo, go here http://vimeo.com/35654128

I would love love love to hear how you stay awake as a shero in the comments. Thanks!

Oh and here is the link for the online Shero’s Journey adventure. It starts February 1st!!Like this post? You might also like:

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Again. Is the 3rd time charm? I shout “Yes! Yes! Yes!” and throw my arms open wide…

and then I fold my hands to my heart with a quiet, “May it be so.”

You see, in a long ago life, I was a screenwriter trying to “make it” in Hollywood. My entire identity depended upon making it. (The very words “make it” are so funny to me now.) I left that world to follow a title I heard in a moment of deep surrender, a moment of “God, I have no idea how to do this anymore,” a moment of surrender that honestly felt like dying.

That title was “The Woman’s Comfort Book” which became my first, and most successful, book.

I’ve often said that title was my grail. And my trail.

Writing this makes me shake my head in wonderment. We are given the guidance we need so clearly!  Something, someone, keeps showing us, in very practical ways, exactly what we need to learn to be whole and free. We keep not seeing, we keep making it far more complicated than it needs to be, but never the less, that someone, that something, keeps trying.

I needed to learn to care for myself. I needed to learn to make a home for myself. I needed to learn that “making it” is so not the point. I needed to learn that at 26 and now, at 49, it’s time for another turn around the spiral of my life lesson (s). (That something or someone is very persistent.)

This turn around the spiral is about a childhood desire.

Since I was little, I wanted to create stories that change the world.

I know, who wouldn’t want to do that!

Declaring this to you, however, makes my heart race. I’m scared, not because I don’t think I can do it, but because I don’t want writing fiction to get tied to “making it.”

All grails and all trails bring us home when we stay devoted to them. My grail-trail is bringing me back to a childhood dream and asking me to untangle making it from desiring it.

This is how the s.hero’s journey works. Our deepest desires are linked to our perennial life lessons. Our s.hero’s work is to keep showing up and working the intersection of the two. 

I write for an hour every morning because I have a desire to create a novel that will serve.

I write for an hour every morning because I have a desire to be whole and to love myself just as I am.

In the crucible created by the two, I stand firm yet supple.

What intersection is working you? What guidance are you ready to listen to? Why not be witnessed in the comments? Might feel good!

P.S. I never thought my experiment of Savor & Serve would bring me here. I’m learning that savoring feeds your creative desire and then service can bloom from there. Who knew?Like this post? You might also like:

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That is so not what happened when I finally meet Tara Sophia Mohr. Instead I felt like so lucky, as in “Oh my, really? A heart friend!” Jump up and down!

Then she came to my Taos writing retreat and bam! Cement friends.

She’s the real deal – inner and outer smart. Gifted. Truthful. Super insightful. LOVE love love the coaching I receive from her.

I highly recommend her signature program for women who are ready to get out of their own way. It’s called Playing Big.

And Tara highly recommends TeachNow – she took it twice!  But don’t take my word for it – watch us here, cracking each other up,  sharing a couple of epiphanies, and don’t miss when I become an abstract painting. (Not easy to do, let me tell you.)

Click the play button and share a couple of fun minutes with us!

P.S. Registration for TeachNow closes this Wednesday and Playing Big closes January 24th.

I finally said the words “…I’ve trained long enough. I can help people now, without another workshop, another class, or another certification. People are waiting for me to bring this to them. I start today’. The phone hasn’t stopped ringing. Playing Big has brought me the peace and wisdom I needed to live from my native bliss and beauty. It has changed my life forever. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you Tara!  ~ Marjie Like this post? You might also like:

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Enjoy Ms. Amazing Marti.

What are you savoring these days?

The warmth of the holidays are still with me. I love everything Christmas! My husband humored me and trimmed a 15-foot white pine to fit our foyer. Heading into mid-January, it’s still beautiful. White lights, red string tinsel, special ornaments. I’m continuously struck by how much joy it gives me and what good company it is.

What helps you when you lose sight of savoring or don’t want to?

I have a long list of reconnectors – a hot bath, snuggling in with family, walking our labs through the orchard, playing the piano, going out with girlfriends. Water, love, nature, music, and laughter are some of the things that ground me.

My default is simply stopping. Breathing. Smiling with my heart. Reconnecting to the goodness that I know is always there for me to tap. When I am not enjoying something, I recognize that it is me that has disconnected from the joy, not the joy that has left me.

How are you serving these days?

This past year brought an unexpected call to serve my community when our small town lost 3 teen boys to suicide within 6 months. As this was happening, I was writing Walking with Justice, a book about my greatest mentor, a wise federal judge I clerked for as a young lawyer.

Judge taught me that true leaders don’t lead because they want to be the leader. They step forth when they see a need and know they have the education, experience, skills, or connections to bring relief. A true leader answers not to the trumpet calls of self-promotion, but to the whispers of necessity.

The way my heart engaged with these tragic losses (these boys were near my son’s age) as I was writing about my book prompted me to step forward. I could see that my psychological training, experience as a resiliency researcher, and connections with other mental health experts could bring desperately needed healing. The call to serve pulled me forward in a way I have never before experienced.

This work has led me toward founding a charity, the Community Resiliency Project, with profits from my book helping support this work. We’ve done a tremendous amount of work in the past six months to support healing and recovery. We’re still very tender.

We’ve also created a long-term resiliency blueprint with a clear vision, solid infrastructure, and strong collaboration between our government, schools, businesses, media, and citizens. The work we’re doing to grow healthy kids, strong families, and a vibrant community will be available to help other communities that suffer losses and need help finding their way forward.

As mentioned, writing Walking with Justice called me to this work. The book was just released on January 11^th so I’ve been doing a lot of teaching around its uncommon lessons of stewardship, service, and living a life of integrity.

Is it satisfying?

Deeply. Beyond motherhood, it is the most satisfying service I have done in my life. It’s also been the most challenging. That’s probably not a coincidence…

If you could serve in any way possible — no restraints, limitations, or boundaries — what would you do? What would it look like?

I would do the work I am doing, but grow my team more quickly because the needs are urgent. Extremely urgent.

I would create a massive toolbox for communities to turn to when they experience crises and need help rebuilding. When we were reeling, I looked to other communities that had experienced crises (suicide clusters and also places like Columbine and the Hurricane Katrina area). There were surprisingly few resources for us.

It’s part of my vision to create this resource to help other recover from crises and proactively build long-term resilience. The storms of life blow. The best time to prepare to weather these storms is before they come.

The research is there. We know the developmental building blocks that create healthy, engaged kids. We know what communities need to thrive. Yet, we often undermine these factors.

If I had a magic wand, I would immediately build a team to help the Community Resiliency Project get all of this information out to the people who want to help heal and strengthen their own communities. This work would literally save lives – fully engaging youth and affirming them as valued members of their community.

***

Mollie Marti is a psychologist, lawyer, and adjunct professor at the University of Iowa Department of Psychology who speaks internationally on leadership resilience, servant mentorship, and business ethics. She brings years of experience in coaching a prestigious list of clients, including Olympians and business elites, to her mission of mentoring leaders to thrive and serve.

Her newest book, Walking with Justice: Uncommon Lessons from One of Life’s Greatest Mentors. Please visit Mollie here.

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